The Grillparty

Ah, the Grillparty. Now that it is endlich Sommer in Deutschland, Grillpartys abound. (The correct German plural form is Grillpartys.) 

Grillparty means "barbecue" in Germany. At a Grillparty, eating is the main event. 

Yes, I know, barbecues always entail eating grilled food outdoors, but a German Grillparty is different. Usually one or two men (or women) -- the Grillmeister(s) -- do the grilling, while the rest of the attendees sit at tables of various lengths, waiting for the food, talking. 

The Table is the true hub and focus of the Grillparty, because it is where the people gather and stay. It is adorned with dozens of salads, condiments, and various types of bread upon which the meat will be lain. 

On the table there will likely be alcohol, i.e. wine, beer, perhaps some Schnapps, and other types of beverages present, including carbonated water, cola, and Apfelsaft. Unlike an American barbecue, you won't find many ice chests chock full of soda cans and bottles of beer dotted around the table or sitting next to the house. Drinks are served either fresh from the fridge or at room/outside temperature. Ice is a precious commodity in Germany, or non-existent, even on 104-degree days.

After the grilled items are properly seared and browned, guests may get up (this is one of very few opportunities to move) to take their plates and obtain their choice of cooked meats. Then they return to the table, where they again sit, eat, and talk. Or a plate of meats is passed around the table, along with the other foods, condiments, and drinks.

Following the meal there is more sitting and talking, and perhaps some heavier drinking or more apple juice intake. And this goes on into the dark. Sitting. Eating. Talking. Eating. Drinking. Sitting.

My first Grillparty... they sit, they eat, they talk, they eat, they sit.

The first official Grillparty I ever attended was last fall, when my co-worker Bernard invited everyone to Weinheim for his apartment-warming, or Einweihungsparty. The invitations were handed out personally by him. On the opening page, the invite announced, "Bring your own sausages." 

Was this for real? I could only laugh. Okay, an invitation might say BYOB or bring a side dish, but never had I been told to supply sausages. I laughed again.

When a friend and I arrived late to Bernard's Grillparty, most of the food had been eaten, and the guests were sitting civilly around a very long table. We felt like we were interrupting their peace and quiet. Was this a barbecue or not? No one was milling about, laughing, waving their hands while explaining a fish story. 

Where were the raucous children? Where were the obnoxious drunkards? Where was the very tipsy in-law? Ach, this just wouldn't do.

Though there must have been room for 30, we still had trouble finding a seat. Bernard's friend Bernhard (the other B) was still grilling the remaining few shishkabobs of Cevapcici -- the dregs of the barbecue. Obviously all the sausages were gone, and all I brought was a big bottle of ketchup (per Bernard's instructions) and a bottle of wine, so I took it we as latecomers wouldn't be eating much that evening.

Midwestern-American girl Jamie stirs up fun at a Grillparty

Yes, at a Grillparty, the challenge seems to be how much you can eat and how long you can sit. There is no poolside splashing, no badminton, no ping-pong. Oh, yes, there IS beer drinking, and drinking of all kinds, but there is very little, if any, movement, except from the hand to the mouth and the working of the jaws for chatter.

Yawn. Snore. Bloat.

I love my German friends and my new German family, but we truly need to move, especially after taking in two pounds of pork in various forms: sausage, Steaks (pronounced "shtakes" -- and these are not made of beef, mind you), Spareribs ("sh-pare-ribs), and Wurst (sausage again, but there's always so much!). Couldn't we stand up and talk? Couldn't we go into the kitchen to make cocktails? Couldn't we play a quick game of horseshoes? 

Typical Germany Grillparty fare (for 4 people!)

On Friday night, our neighbors had a Grillparty to celebrate their move back home to East Germany. After the moving vans were completely filled, the Grillparty began. I made my salsa and guacamole, because I am, after all, half Mexican. (Well, not really, but I tell people that, and Germans are extra gullible since we have such a language disparity.) The condiments began to appear on the three long tables, crowded together on the neighbor's terrace to accommodate 11 Germans and one American.

How many condiments can you place on YOUR Grillparty table?

 

I wasn't sure if I should enter the Grillparty realm: it was claustrophobic on that terrace, and there were Germans everywhere. My language skills are minimal. I eventually took an outer chair by the stairs for quick escape if need be and waited while the future ex-neighbor's father grilled at least 40 sausages of 2 kinds. 

The guacamole, chips and salsa were on the table, and the German men were properly tormented by the scharf bite of the chilies, so I could now relax and observe. My job was done. 

On came the platters of sausages, overfilled. I forked one, still sizzling, and searched the vast array of mustards for a suitable brand. Ah -- the Currysenf. I hadn't tried that yet. They have curry ketchup, but I knew nothing about curry mustard. It was delicious.

Shortly thereafter came another platter of sausages, when I had almost finished my first. Should I have another whole sausage? No, I would split one with Heinie. After all, there was more mustard to be eaten. 

The second sausage was different and delectable -- it had a casing that turned crispy and brown on the grill, and separated from the inner sanctum of the Wurst, almost like a flour tortilla wrapping. It was a special sausage -- Kastenwürstchen -- brought all the way to Viernheim by the mother of the moving. It was delicious! 

Here's a bit of grammar for you: "-chen" added to any noun in German makes it diminutive, or smaller. A Hund is a dog, but a Hündchen is a puppy. Eine Blume is a flower, but a Blümchen is a little flower. 

These new sausages were named Kastenwürstchen, but they weren't small by any means. They were just as large as the other full-size, 8-inch and thick sausages.

Ach, now I was full. But there were so many condiments that had to be slathered! And platefuls of sausage to be eaten! When my stomach cleared some, I ate one more of the special East German sausages. Now I was really full.

But no... though it was meant to be avoided, 30 pork shteaks had been grilled by the incognizant Grillmeister, and he soon put them on plates and was delivering them to the tables. I couldn't eat anymore, but dang did that shteak look good. And besides, there was Kräuterbutter on the table. I can't believe I fit it in, but I ate the pork steak, too. Thank goodness it wasn't too large. 

After we ate, we sat, as good German Grillpartygoers should. But after a few minutes, I couldn't any longer. I used any excuse I could to get up, such as picking up plates, capping bottle after jar of condiments, taking dirty silverware to the kitchen, making a cocktail. I had to move, or I would turn into one big side of bacon. 

Shots of Schnapps or other liquors... they come out at the end of a Grillparty

Full of pork and stifled by immobility, I had trouble sleeping that night. I was full all night and into the next day. The only cure was the fiber of some good Müsli, an Apfel, and lots of water. But alas, we would be grilling again the next night, and I was sure there would be too much food. And lots of sitting. 

Grillparty: Sitting. 

When asked why Germans mostly sit at a Grillparty, Heinie said, "Schatz, this is Europe." There was no further explanation. 

Needless to say, I've since researched the purchase price of a set of horseshoes in Germany, though the Germans I know tell me they throw horses and not their Hufeisen. They think this is a very funny joke. 

No matter: I'm going to try to get these people moving, or at least reduce the size of my own Speck following a Grillparty. 


Dictionary
Apfelsaft  - apple juice
Einweihungsparty  - housewarming (party)
endlich Sommer in Deutschland  - finally summer in Germany
Grillparty  - barbecue
Grillmeister  - master of the barbecue
Hufeisen - horseshoes
Kräuterbutter - herb butter
Schatz - Dear (lit. "treasure")
Spareribs - spare ribs
Steak - steak, often of pork (pronounced "shteak")
Speck - bacon
Wurst - sausage