Recently, I was having a relationship issue. Again. And when it gets bad enough, a person should ask for help.
My two older sisters were the first I called. When I was a preteen, they were the most knowledgeable people on the planet when it came to the subject of boys. My little sister and I shared an adjacent bedroom, and sometimes I happened to hear what they talked about, eavesdropping without getting caught. Julie and Karen would chat late at night about boys and kissing and other things they did with those boys (I will abstain from going any further or talking about locations on a baseball field).
Wow! It was so exciting. They talked in secret for what seemed like hours. Sometimes they would let me come in and listen, if I gave them back rubs -- which turned out to be a bad idea when I explained to my mother once what I had heard. Oh, my mouth: always getting me in trouble.
Nevertheless, to this day, my two older sisters are the ones I turn to most when it comes to pondering life, and love.
My two older sisters were the first I called. When I was a preteen, they were the most knowledgeable people on the planet when it came to the subject of boys. My little sister and I shared an adjacent bedroom, and sometimes I happened to hear what they talked about, eavesdropping without getting caught. Julie and Karen would chat late at night about boys and kissing and other things they did with those boys (I will abstain from going any further or talking about locations on a baseball field).
Wow! It was so exciting. They talked in secret for what seemed like hours. Sometimes they would let me come in and listen, if I gave them back rubs -- which turned out to be a bad idea when I explained to my mother once what I had heard. Oh, my mouth: always getting me in trouble.
Nevertheless, to this day, my two older sisters are the ones I turn to most when it comes to pondering life, and love.
It helps when speaking to them, because they have very different outlooks, and I can get a more well-rounded opinion when combining it with my own. Also, they calm me down and tame my irrational thoughts.
My oldest sister is practical and loyal. She has been married to the same man for over 25 years, and they have gone through much together -- kids, stepchildren, financial crises, dogs, ex-wives, ex-boyfriends, etc. She loves her husband without question, though there have been challenges. My sister is intellectually superior, but he's no dummy, and he loves her without fail. She also remains solid and unwavering in her love and rarely gets perturbed by the things he does. Oh, the patience!
My oldest sister is practical and loyal. She has been married to the same man for over 25 years, and they have gone through much together -- kids, stepchildren, financial crises, dogs, ex-wives, ex-boyfriends, etc. She loves her husband without question, though there have been challenges. My sister is intellectually superior, but he's no dummy, and he loves her without fail. She also remains solid and unwavering in her love and rarely gets perturbed by the things he does. Oh, the patience!
Sister # 2 is wilder at heart. She has had lots of boyfriends, but she, too, is practical when it comes to love, in a different way. She is somewhat of a hot tamale, and men have been a fixture in her life that she cannot do without, a convenience that she has grown accustomed to. She has been alone 5% of her adult life; the other 95% she has spent living with a male. When a man is in a relationship with her, it's usually her way or the highway (she is also German-blooded and a lot of her German traits come through on a daily basis), and she gets what she wants. For the most part, she has played at love like a game, and it is a game she wins.
Then there's me. They call me the crazy one, the adventurer. I'm not practical or sensible when it comes to most things -- especially men-- but truly, all I desire is happiness every day. I'm a romantic, and I love love. And I want the whole thing -- a strong, romantic fellow who loves me, body and soul, but especially for what's inside of me, and the person I am.
Even more, I want what our parents had -- a loving, lifelong relationship. Sadly, our father died too soon and couldn't give our mom his whole life. Regretfully for me, I haven't found a lifer either; I don't know if I will ever find a man with whom I can be completely happy.
But who can?
Even more, I want what our parents had -- a loving, lifelong relationship. Sadly, our father died too soon and couldn't give our mom his whole life. Regretfully for me, I haven't found a lifer either; I don't know if I will ever find a man with whom I can be completely happy.
But who can?
When I referred to my boyfriend as another name for the male appendage that hangs between his legs, the first sister told me, "You just haven't found the right one yet."
Right one? Is there a right one? Did she find the right one? I know she loves her husband and she made the decision to marry him a long time ago, but is he really the right one for her?
I had to get a second opinion, so I called my other sister and told her the whole story. She laughed. "You have to work at it," she said. "No one is perfect. It takes work."
That is true, and boy have we worked! However, sometimes it seems like the labor pains of this relationship are coming harder and stronger, as some of the same problems continue to arise. Aren't we learning? And isn't that the point of life and love -- learning, changing, growing, improving?
One should consider the circumstances. I'm in Germany (HALLO). I'm in a relationship with a staunch German -- a guy so Deutsch he makes other Germans appear relaxed.
And Germans are unlike anyone else on earth, as you can determine for yourself by reading my blog. Life is not easy for an American trying to live with and love a German. And the German's life is assuredly not any easier when he is faced with the reckless and lighthearted American that he has found.
And Germans are unlike anyone else on earth, as you can determine for yourself by reading my blog. Life is not easy for an American trying to live with and love a German. And the German's life is assuredly not any easier when he is faced with the reckless and lighthearted American that he has found.
Several months ago, my wise sister reminded me that a relationship must mature beyond the initial "honeymoon period," where things go from wonderful to run-of-the-mill and not so nice. Wouldn't it be smart to never let a relationship get past that stage? But of course, that is running away, and that IS childish. I'm sure some people give that a try, and I have been tempted, but that is exactly when German loyalty steps in and he prevents me from escaping. And then my man surprises me with the amount of things he's willing to go through for me. I know he loves me, because of the things he does. And to be loved like that, well, it's worth it, and there is no doubt left.
Besides, he's an excellent cook, and I love him more when we're eating than almost -- ALMOST -- any other time (I won't go further, because then we'll be back on the baseball field).
Besides, he's an excellent cook, and I love him more when we're eating than almost -- ALMOST -- any other time (I won't go further, because then we'll be back on the baseball field).
