Driving in Germany

In August I enjoyed a month-long vacation in the U.S. -- mostly in Silverton, Colorado, which is at 9,318 feet in the San Juan Mountains. Only one street there is paved -- the main one or Greene Street, and the speed limit throughout town is one of two: 15 or 25 mph. Texans, tourists, and Texan tourists abound. Pedestrians are everywhere, so you have to drive slow. There is no little green man or red man to stop you from crossing the street in front of oncoming traffic. Historic trains ramble into town every day -- you have to get out of the way of those of course, but they whistle loudly to warn you to stay off the tracks. People disembark and explore the small burg, and life goes at an easy pace -- there is no need to rush to get from one end of town to another. In fact, you might as well walk, because there's not much room on Greene Street to park your rental car, SUV, Jeep, or all-terrain vehicle.

Fast forward to Germany, the Autobahn, fast cars, narrow streets, and urgency. Tension? Yes. Major driving stress? Oh yeah.

On the bright side, I just moved to a new small town of 2,000 up in the Odenwald, an inviting swathe of woods and quaint villages that winds in and out of three German states.

Driving the long curvy roads to get home, I relax all the way up. It's like a mini-racecourse, really, where my poor Opel struggles for dominance on the hills. It loses to the Beamers and the Benzes, but that's okay. Those roads weren't meant for driving too quickly. Deer could jump out, or maybe a Wildschwein. Perhaps a friendly cow. There are signs that warn of falling rocks and ice. There are even signs that show speed limits for tanks and jeeps. (Hmmmm... don't know what to make of that. Always prepared, the Germans!)

My driving route to work takes me downhill and eventually onto the Autobahn. Currently, however, the closest on-ramp is under construction. The off-ramp has also been under construction, since before I went on vacation. Therefore, I have to exit early to find my way home in the evening, and drive a few more kilometers before I get to the Autobahn in the morning. I go through several traffic lights, around streetcar stops, and through a few roundabouts. I leave early, before the sun comes up, and if it happens to be raining, the journey becomes more treacherous and stressful.

What makes it worse is when a harried driver behind me goes faster than the speed limit. Some people here drive as if they've got a woman in the car who is about to deliver a baby if she doesn't get to the hospital in time, or they're bleeding to death, or some other emergency. Durchfall? 

They can't all be late for work, because this is Germany, and they are a punctual people. However, the ass-grinding, headlight-glaring, inconsiderate-driver-behind-me thing happens often, and I do not drive like an old woman... yet. So what is the rush? 

There are ways of dealing with the stress of driving in Germany. 

When it's dark out, I adjust my rear view mirror so I can't see "him" anymore (I always assume it's a man) and try to remain calm. If only I were a cop with a radar detector permanently installed in my backside! Otherwise, I could pull over, or hope that the driver passes me. No, they prefer to remain right behind me and try to push me down the hill. 

Turn up the music and ignore the BMW behind you. Look at the scenery. Take deep breaths. Think of the delicious glass of wine you will enjoy when you get home inside your quiet home, your car safely parked and your engine turned off.

Or remember the fact that it's much worse in Italy. 

Ah, the glamour and allure of those 15-mph dirt roads...